Peddling financial sense from the call center...

My new casa...if the bank has its way...

Banks are funny people.

I recently took out a bond on a property that I paid a deposit on two years ago – I haven’t moved into the property yet, as its not finished.

It’s a long story and all the details can be found in my blog post here http://whenthemikeisoff.blogspot.com/2006/06/swiss-clocks-and-glass-flowerswhere.html .

My problem is now this – I want to move in but after two years of waiting and huge cash payments to get things in working order (100k of my own money to get some water and electricity – Eskom willing) I have practically exhausted my savings but still have no kitchen and bathroom in the place...G-freind not keen on living in home without bath and my comments about buckets and hot water is not going down a treat...

I want to move out of my rented house as I am sick and tired of paying rent for past 2 years and now paying rent and a bond – we are talking nearly 13k a month in just having a roof over my head - actually 2 roofs but one is not over my head…

So with my sound reasoning I approach the bank that supplied my bond and explained that the property is worth far more than I paid for it 2 years ago…my income allows me far more than I have currently bonded on the property, so let’s do a deal.

My request is simple – I need to borrow more to complete the property and move in – I have the required finances – you have the cash…but…Bank says NO.

Why?

Well the bond is only 3 months old – I need to wait longer to be able re-mortgage my bond…I can understand that to a point, however when I asked the young man on the call center switch board what I should do while I slowly bankrupt myself with rent and bond every month, he suggested I take out a personal loan to complete the property…

So here goes folks; my sound financial advice in print from my sound financial advisor “the bank guy”:

A rough guide to my living expenses as of next momth...before I have eaten.

Bond: R6000 (can handle that – it’s my home)

Rent: R5000 (can handle that as I have somewhere to live – except I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO LIVE I JUST CANT MOVE INTO IT!)

Personal loan over three years (100k): Roughly R5000 PM!!

So my new found “Financial advisor” is suggesting 16k a month in base living expenses (while I continue to build) not including car, insurances, pensions investments etc..mmm I wont be going broke and homeless anytime soon then!!

Oh why cant I be one of Heff's girlfreinds now!

All is not negative though - “call centre guy” will probably have been promoted by then – if this is his way of thinking, then his bosses are going to snap him up for his management potential - S*it put him in charge of retail banking costs!!!

The great thing is that when I am finished and moved in, instead of paying rent I will now be paying a personal loan off…until such time as I can re-mortgage…

Now I am not blaming anyone here – if this is how things work out then so be it – but at the end of the day surely the bank can look at the situation, see that I am not an idiot and that the property is valued at a higher amount than bonded…and I will be paying roughly R1000 more instead of paying R5000 a month at far greater interest! That way I can pay the bond with ease and they won’t have to come chasing me for cash…?

When they come to me to ask for there house back I will be pointing out this blog….

Yours asset forfeiture.