Hi my name is Leisure Suit Larry - this is my lounge - I based it on the Arstcape...I went to the theater last night; the Nico Malan or as we know it now the Post-aparthied-we-cant-have-a-malan-on-the-nameplate-anymore-lets-call-it-Tshwane-oh-no-that’s-taken-how-about-the-Artscape Opera House.
The show was Mama Mia, which to the un-initiated is based on a Greek island and Abba music simultaneously…it sounds odd but it works – brilliantly too – but more on that later.
What I could not help noticing was the Nic’s shabby interior. From the outside that glass structure is still phenomenal and really gives you the feeling you are going on a proper night out when you walk up those stairs. Really gives you that Opera house feel.
I remember as kids been dragged to the theatre for a quick injection of culture regularly – my mother who was born a hippy (no really the yanked her out by her braids and had to do a c-section to get her guitar out), demanded that we would see ballet, opera and the likes in case we turned out to the like the kids next door – laidback, fun and skateboarders…I though they were kinda cool to be honest mum…feel I missed out there...
Anyway once inside that vast hulk of stone, concrete and glass I noticed that things haven’t changed since hippy used to take us there when we were kids – it’s the same carpet!!!! I could have sworn blind that the stain I left there as a 12 year old after vomiting up my coke post-Cinderella matinee was still there.
Those hanging chandeliers that were so "must have" back in the 70’s are still hanging there like a faded Bee-Gees album cover – the not-so-shiny-black veneer bar still lurks in the corner looking like something from a Miami Vice scene…its just so sad!!!!
It’s almost as bad as the Baxters half-a-citrus fruit decoration covering up the mould on their ceilings…buts that is an entirely different fruit basket of a conversation – don’t get me started!
Back to the Nic - I love the place I really do and the shows that get put on there are truly world class – but surely someone at the Artscape must have thought …”Hang on a moment – didn’t smoky brown glass and wood paneling go out with disco?...do we really need the brown carpet in the foyer still or should we change it something more modern and closer to the 80’s??”
My point is its like stepping back in time – I have never been to the Sydney opera house or such like, but I am damn sure that the place does not look like the interior of some ageing lounge-lizard lotharios shag pad…you get the distinct impression that if you happened to mention to one of the staff members there that "Earth, Wind and Fire" have actually in fact broken up they would be devastated! Did anyone mention the Millennium to these people? Do they know that not only has the BMW 6 series been taken out of production but it has been so long it has in actual fact been bought back as a retro!? ,
Come on people show some class!!
The show itself was incredible – the cast is out of this world and if you have never been a theatre-goer this is possibly the best show on earth to kick start your culture buds.
The plot is relatively simple, the music is all based on Abba (although I am sure the people at the Nico think it’s an original score – Abba as a group will only reach them in the 1970’s which by calculations is a mere three years away in Malan Time...about the same time they will hear that Beatles are breaking up...) and there is more than enough clapping and humming to keep the most absent mind entertained.
Go see it its on now – click here to get your tickets!
http://www2.computicket.com/
PS. it is clever isnt it - ArtScape? - its like lanscape for the arts...but also stands for Cape Arts...not remotley obvious...
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