Swiss clocks and glass flowers...where will i live!!

I am trying to build a flat in the middle of Cape Town. The saga has been going for the past 2 years – let me fill you in quickly here – property has always turned me on...the old quote “they are not making any more land” tickles my senses. Its true you see – the one thing we will eventually run out of in the city and the 'burbs is space – so the sooner u get in thru the market door and stake your flag in the ground the better...[just looking over my shoulder and making sure I actually said that and not my dad...crying out loud I am growing up...].

Anyway for quite a while was looking for a space [thats what I called it – very arty hey?] in the city – I didn't want a ready-made place...that would be to easy; no I wanted to create my own place and space in my own time. I can hear you laughing already...stop it!
Eventually through a friend I was introduced to a developer who had just bought an art deco building in the center of town – old building – beautiful architecture etc – I honestly thought it was to good to be true – the price for a empty four walls was less than half a mil which for city going through a boom bigger than than a Cosatu gathering i couldn't lose i thought.
I was right I couldn't lose - but i could be bled dry very, very slowly...

The developer sold me on some glass flowers that were going to adorn the one side of the building – stunning features that would be lit up and give the building an amazing arty feel – that combined with some very carefully selected sculptures dotted around the hanging garden in the center of a bustling cosmopolitan city how could I not shell out a few hundred thousand clams with absolute confidence...afterall he is swiss – they always know what they are doing...they shit like clock work, don't know what pollution is and make amazing chocolate...what's not to like?

So...after two years, a ton of cash later the flowers and the sculptures..they are in and very pretty they are too – you cant park in the building yet, the lifts don't work and the place is entirely uninhabitable but the flowers and the naked orange women made of stone look wonderful – every inch the beauty that the swiss toy maker had promised
My flat?...well lets see... I paid 100k in my very own hard earned cash to get the wet works done – wet works the un-initiated BTW is the plumbing, electrical connections and some other odds an ends that make up 100 thousands rands worth of wires, pipes and cement dust now decorating what one day shall be my living room.

I have an empty cement block which one day will house my bathroom and three windows in the lounge that were painted so lavishly with Dulux wall-and-all that the chances of ever getting them undone so one can sample the view [which was 80 percent the reason for buying – the other 20 percent was that I did need somewhere to live] is less likely than Zuma been charged for anything.

The upshot of it all is that I have 3 weeks left in my current place on the lease – i cant extend further as i originally came here for three months back in beginning of 2005 on the understanding I would take transfer in August and be moving out into a land of glassy floral decoration.

However I also cant move into said land of glass and naked orange women as the place is quite obviously unfit for actual people – orange or otherwise to live there...
So I am resorting to what every 30 year old at the prime of life does when the shit hits the proverbial housing fan...I am calling mum and teling her to make up the spare bedroom... would take my old room in the house but i have a sneaky feeling my brother is already on that one...nothing like out of work actors to really piss on your home coming...