Friday, July 17, 2009

Wanted Dead or Alive...

In the event of fire please use the Pepsi provided...

It seems that being dead is more profitable than being alive in some cases – when it comes to making cash that is. Naturally we would all prefer a living MJ but it would appear that since his death his albums have soared up the charts again, raking in a ton of cash for his estate.

Sounscan is reporting 1.1 Million MJ albums sold last week – up 37% on last week. Nearly 2.5 million albums have been sold since his death was announced.

I saw this earlier – many reports now coming out that Jackson’s dalliance with drugs started here – when a Pepsi commercial he was filing went horribly wrong. His addiction to pain killers apparently came about after suffering from burns received while filming.

Jacksons Pepsi Commercial with highlights...

Not sure about you but I cannot believe he carried on dancing not realizing he was on fire!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Fight of the accordions’...or something...

Flight of the Choncords - above
shows only one in flight obviously - but they do both fly...

I know this has been spoken about before but reckon its worth revisiting! If you haven’t checked out “Flight of the Conchords” yet then you are missing out.

A mate of mine introduced me to the Kiwi duo a few years ago and I still think they are one of the most inspired comedy acts for years.

I love standup comedy but these guys just take the stage to a new level. If “Albie the Racist Dragon” and “Business Time” don’t get you laughing on a cold day like today I don’t know what will!

Actually it’s perfect “office” viewing. You know the type. You watch it at your desk. Laugh out loud and then everyone asks you what you’re watching and you say something to the effect of “hang on I will forward you the link”.

Before you know it you get up to go for coffee and someone in sales comes up to you and says “Hey! Have you checked out these guys Fight of the accordions’…?”

And you're like," Dude…firstly, “Flight of the Conchords” and secondly, who do you think discovered them?”

Take a deep breathe – this will happen but be that person today!

Business time:

Albie the racist dragon:

Enjoy and tell the guy in sales he is so 2008…;)


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Head Hunted! By Shell!

Now using Gmail to recruit world wide...

Just got this via my work mail - extremely honored to be selected by for this job and very tempted. However I feel they might have got the wrong guy?

Not sure a radio jock should be let anywhere near a gas or oil rig for any significant amount of time.

Reckon this scam is going to catch a lot of people out – especially in these times.

“SHELL JOB OFFER!!!” – nothing subtle about that one then…

Naturally I have applied - nothing ventured...


Dear Patrick - very exited - I have added my notes below in blue as I have a few questions. Of course very exited to be selected for this. After having found out that I hadnt just in herited $4 Billion USD from my long lost North African relatives who recently died in a very sudden and tragic coup, I am pretty much desperate for work to be honest...look forward to your reply.

Could you pay particular attention to my requests re. wet weather gear. Its a deal breaker I am afraid.



Shell Petroleum Development Company of Nigeria.

#5 Rumuobiokani Road,

P.O.BOX 307

Port Harcourt,Nigeria.


Client code /VIC/SPDC/ vol. 109

Attn: Applicant,

Subject: Shell Job Offer

You are hereby notified that your qualifications and experiences were found suitable for the requirements of Shell Petroleum Development Company offshore job .

(I have Matric, Web design and Ecommerce qualifications – so I could help market the oil online once we have drilled it out - I dont mind registering the domains etc as well...)

For verification and screening you are to submit your most recent resume through our e-mail and also you are expected to provide your working documents to our immigration consultant to enable him to process your immigration papers & visa,if you are employ by shell company.

(You mean I pay you several thousands Dollars USD in visa and admin fees…and thats when i get the job?)

Shell Petroleum Development Company with respect to the said project requires the services of expatriate personnels in Gas Engineering,> Electrical/Electronics
Engineering, Geoscience, Project Management, Software Engineering, Mechanical Engineering, Field Doctors,Captains,Security, Medicine, Chemical Engineering, Petroleum Engineering,Project Engineering,Civil Engineering,Environmental Management, Materials Engineering, Welding,Drilling,Accounting,and Economics whose
services will include project management, engineering,procurement, construction, transportation and installation,safety,hook up, commissioning of the production
platform, pipelaying etc.

(Basically any job you could think of then...and the ones you couldn’t think of are covered by the “etc.” – Do you need DJ’s???)

SALARY: Very Attractive (within 4.920 GBP-9.800GBP )monthly and will be
transferred to any Bank in any Country of your own.
(I don’t own a country of my own – is that ok? Or are dictators really the only guys you are looking for currently?)

JOB LOCATION: Aderdeen,united kingdom & others location worldwide. (again pretty much anywhere you could think of in the world…you left out “etc.” on this one…oh and you spelt the UK incorrectly…)

choice through all transfers will be made in conformity with the existing
tax system in
United Kingdom. (What does this mean? Please clarify…I thought Shell was a Dutch? Is that why you spelt UK wrong? Do you need DJ’s?)

CONTRACT DURATION: 48 months (Liable for upward review depending on
your commitment and expertise) (I would be very committed from the start – does that mean we can extend from the beginning? Do you need DJ’s?)

DURATION OF WORK PERIODS: Three months work, one month pay leave. (Do I also get paid for the months I work? Or just the ones I take off? Will I need wet weather gear or do you supply?)

Interested and qualified persons should send their applications, detailed
resume/cv and copies of credentials to:

Note: interview will be conducted online immediately. (Its 4am here at the moment – once I hit send do I wait for you to call? Are you up yet? Maybe use my mobile number as my family is asleep – can you let me know about the wet weather gear when you call – would like to get that sorted from the start.)


Patrick smith.


Shell Company.

Vodacom PLayer 23 Ad - loving it!

Player 23 ;)

Just a quickie - how damn cool is the new Vodacom ad?

Sat down with comedian Malcolm Ferreira (Jan of “Jan and Elton” fame) on the show the other day and chatted about how his life has changed since moving to Cape Town and of course doing the Ad – have to say one of the nicest guys I have met in a very long time.

Check the ad here - if you haven’t seen it!

We also sat down with Malcolm and put him through his paces with shows “Rich List”

Check it out here!
New Rich List up with Jan "Malcolm F" (VODACOM - Player 23) -