Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Love letter to Vodacom at the Waterfront...bless them.

Just wasted an entire morning in the vague hope that Vodacom in the Waterfront could help me out. You know, do their thing and sort out my 3G upgrade...sadly not...systems down...for three hours...although they forgot to mention that part to me...





Dear Vodacom Waterfront,

I loved spending 3 hours waiting on you and leaving with nothing. It made me feel special and valued as a client. After all, we spend so little time together, other than once a month when you go into my bank account, like you have every month for the past 6 years or so and take your fill. It was nice for a change to be visiting you because you owed me.

The part where you made me sit down a second time after telling me an hour and half before that maybe I should come back later (having waited for systems to work), filled me with hope and love for your product. I could not wait to see you again instead of spending my time browsing around shops and whiling away the hours, when all I wanted was to be with you – and you made me wait so long. Just teasing? Naughty thing.

The part when you told me your systems were down – after spending another 15 minutes the second time round teasing me with photocopying and taking my bank card. I really felt like it was going to happen this time…we were so close…and then you told me once again you couldn’t. If I think about I should have told you that already – I knew your system wasn’t into helping me an hour ago. I knew it. I chose to believe it would this time…because you said so.

When you said to me I could walk around the Waterfront again while I waited I should have thanked you. After all “if you love them set them free”, right? Sadly I had already visited every shop in the mall waiting for you the first time round and unlike you, who obviously has the patience of Job and can wait all day, sadly I had better things to do.

When you said you would call, I felt so special. It meant that once again I could climb into my car, find and pay for parking at the Waterfront again, just to see you a third time in one day. How lucky I am to have you??

The part when your manager said “what do you want me to do about it?” I should have cried with love over your concern.

When he tried to explain that Vodacom was down, again tears nearly rolled down my cheeks. Firstly I thought you were Vodacom?

And secondly as a star crossed client I was hoping that you would have avoided telling me how the backend system of your brain works…sometimes my love, I don’t want to know how and what connects to what - and how its not your fault – I just want you to tell me your sorry and help put it right again.

The manager told me that the “other” Vodacom (whoever they are? Should I feel jealous?) hadn’t been able to give him an “ETA” (so precious) on when the problem would be sorted. Which is why I was surprised that you hadn’t mentioned that to me when I sat down for the second time? Or is the “other” Vodacom selective and evil in whom it tells? All I want from you is honesty – the truth my love.

Why did you keep me waiting around if you knew? I thought you were different.

Your friends gathered to listen to our conversation, stood at the side and laughed. How special I felt as guest in your home. So loved and cherished. In the end I am glad though that I did tell them to go - I Know they are your friends but at the end of the day my love being stared and laughed at when I am in your home just didn’t make me feel good. I had hoped you would deal with that?

The part where your friend offered to “fly to Jo’burg to make it work” was outstanding. I cannot tell you how special that made me feel. That some one would do that for me, although to be honest he did sound a bit flippant.

When I told him so, I think he realized that he was hurting me feelings and then offered to apologize on “behalf of all Vodacom”. How nice of him – so magnanimous (you can tell him that’s a “good” word as I am not sure he would be able to know that himself).

My love I feel that I may wait for you forever – I cannot anymore and feel that I need to go another place to fulfill my needs. Somewhere where they know what’s going on, don’t try and give me rubbish instead of an apology. Where they don’t try and tell me the intricate connections of the Vodacom network and why its not there fault that I wasted 3 hors of my day on their advice…naturally I wont leave the network -0 could you imagine the admin and pain. I just don’t feel that I will be visiting you anytime soon at the Waterfront…your performance is pathetic to say the least.

I am posting this from my phone – which you do operate – as my wireless connection at home is still out of order. Owing to the fact that you were once again unable to help me out.

You’re the best.
R

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear sad vodacom user, that was awesome! I know i shouldn't laugh at others misfortune, but you told the story so well and it immediately evoked similar feelings i too have shared in the past. Best of luck in sorting out your 3G world!

Jason said...

HAHAHAAHAA!!! Did you actually send them this or was it just a blog? I'd love to see how they'd respond to this...

Great read... you really have a gift in being sarcastic! HAHAHAHA!!!

Amod Munga said...

Wow. Bloody useless lot. Maybe instead of spending money on stupid commercials they should pay for customer service workshops.

You're too nice, Richard. I would have taken names and gone public in a big way.

Anonymous said...

Having recently bookmarked Hallo Peter and devoted the better part of my working day to warning the world about MTN, I found your Vodacom love letter so reassuring and comforting...You see, MTN is so utterly useless that I have been putting Vodacom on a pedestal, but you're right about them too...They're all fecking useless...Bring on an adept competitor, please!

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