Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Head Hunted! By Shell!

Now using Gmail to recruit world wide...

Just got this via my work mail - extremely honored to be selected by for this job and very tempted. However I feel they might have got the wrong guy?

Not sure a radio jock should be let anywhere near a gas or oil rig for any significant amount of time.

Reckon this scam is going to catch a lot of people out – especially in these times.

“SHELL JOB OFFER!!!” – nothing subtle about that one then…

Naturally I have applied - nothing ventured...


Dear Patrick - very exited - I have added my notes below in blue as I have a few questions. Of course very exited to be selected for this. After having found out that I hadnt just in herited $4 Billion USD from my long lost North African relatives who recently died in a very sudden and tragic coup, I am pretty much desperate for work to be honest...look forward to your reply.

Could you pay particular attention to my requests re. wet weather gear. Its a deal breaker I am afraid.



Shell Petroleum Development Company of Nigeria.

#5 Rumuobiokani Road,

P.O.BOX 307

Port Harcourt,Nigeria.


Client code /VIC/SPDC/ vol. 109

Attn: Applicant,

Subject: Shell Job Offer

You are hereby notified that your qualifications and experiences were found suitable for the requirements of Shell Petroleum Development Company offshore job .

(I have Matric, Web design and Ecommerce qualifications – so I could help market the oil online once we have drilled it out - I dont mind registering the domains etc as well...)

For verification and screening you are to submit your most recent resume through our e-mail and also you are expected to provide your working documents to our immigration consultant to enable him to process your immigration papers & visa,if you are employ by shell company.

(You mean I pay you several thousands Dollars USD in visa and admin fees…and thats when i get the job?)

Shell Petroleum Development Company with respect to the said project requires the services of expatriate personnels in Gas Engineering,> Electrical/Electronics
Engineering, Geoscience, Project Management, Software Engineering, Mechanical Engineering, Field Doctors,Captains,Security, Medicine, Chemical Engineering, Petroleum Engineering,Project Engineering,Civil Engineering,Environmental Management, Materials Engineering, Welding,Drilling,Accounting,and Economics whose
services will include project management, engineering,procurement, construction, transportation and installation,safety,hook up, commissioning of the production
platform, pipelaying etc.

(Basically any job you could think of then...and the ones you couldn’t think of are covered by the “etc.” – Do you need DJ’s???)

SALARY: Very Attractive (within 4.920 GBP-9.800GBP )monthly and will be
transferred to any Bank in any Country of your own.
(I don’t own a country of my own – is that ok? Or are dictators really the only guys you are looking for currently?)

JOB LOCATION: Aderdeen,united kingdom & others location worldwide. (again pretty much anywhere you could think of in the world…you left out “etc.” on this one…oh and you spelt the UK incorrectly…)

choice through all transfers will be made in conformity with the existing
tax system in
United Kingdom. (What does this mean? Please clarify…I thought Shell was a Dutch? Is that why you spelt UK wrong? Do you need DJ’s?)

CONTRACT DURATION: 48 months (Liable for upward review depending on
your commitment and expertise) (I would be very committed from the start – does that mean we can extend from the beginning? Do you need DJ’s?)

DURATION OF WORK PERIODS: Three months work, one month pay leave. (Do I also get paid for the months I work? Or just the ones I take off? Will I need wet weather gear or do you supply?)

Interested and qualified persons should send their applications, detailed
resume/cv and copies of credentials to:

Note: interview will be conducted online immediately. (Its 4am here at the moment – once I hit send do I wait for you to call? Are you up yet? Maybe use my mobile number as my family is asleep – can you let me know about the wet weather gear when you call – would like to get that sorted from the start.)


Patrick smith.


Shell Company.


Nasheta said...

hey richard
i received something similar last week - except it came from "samsung". Knew it was a scam esp since i haven't been applying for any jobs lately :)

Jason said...

Loved you response...had me in stitches!