O R Thambo...

Its not that I believe you have to be stupid to work in an airport but I am becoming quite convinced that in order to work at O R Thambo you do need to be on the wrong side of 70 when it comes to an IQ.

In Cape Town I find getting on and off an airplane, checking in, collecting baggage etc. to be on par with the rest of western civilization (possibly the East too but I have not traveled there and would hate to surmise). But get yourself flown up to the “Big Smoke” and wheels fall off! (Possibly literally if you flying Nationwide).

My last visit to ORT (sounds like the name belongs in a Tolkien book hey? Shit watch out the ORT’s are coming – someone pass me a dwarf), I waited for my bags only slightly shorter than the time it took to fly them there.

I mentioned to the man in an official looking Day-Glo green vest and walkie-talkie - that it had been sometime since we landed and we still hadn’t seen our bags. He told me that he was sure that they were on the way. I told him politely that I didn’t dispute that – it was really a matter of “when” that I was worried about. To that, he literally rolled his eyes and said he would find out (sorry mate I know its your job and everything…) then disappeared through the conveyer belt hole in the wall – you know the one – where you really wonder what’s happening behind there; hoola girls and poker etc.

Suffice to say I can only imagine that he was swallowed up by the same gargantuan ORT that had eaten my baggage, as I never saw him again.

30 minutes later and after an entire planeload of Japanese tourists had managed to claim their luggage from the same belt (a lot of Nikon camera bags and Hello Kitty paraphernalia – what is with the Asians and Kitty?), our baggage started to come through – not all at a once mind you, drips and drabs.

An hour later and sweet ‘eff all apologies from anyone in Day-Glo green, I managed to get outside.

It would be fine if it were just a once off, but its not. Every time I go there, there is a system crash, gate changes at the last minute, unexplained delays and queues longer than Zimbabwe banking line. Again all this maybe part of an international airport but why the hell can’t anyone tell you what’s going on? When you ask someone vaguely official-looking the stare that you get back is blanker than a Jacob Zuma confession sheet.

I remember landing on a trip home from Washington last year. Several of the people who were seated around me were first timers in SA. We landed on time but then sat 3 feet from the terminal for the next 40 minutes, while an ORT tried to conjure up a set of stairs so we could alight.

To repeat: An international flight arrives (on time) and we sit for 40 minutes on the tarmac while someone tries to find some stairs? It’s embarrassing.

A number of saffers around me started to laugh and say “welcome to Africa”…and “only in SA…” Well crap! We have a world-class terminal at ORT…there are no excuses. Africa or not, if we want to be taken seriously; step one buy some ‘effing stairs!

Jo’burgers will no doubt tell me that Cape Town International is just the same only slower, smaller etc, but to be honest I have never had a problem there. This is not just me defending home territory, just me being honest. Taking it a step further and having traveled fairly extensively, I don’t think I have ever encountered as many problems anywhere in the world as I have at ORT-ville. Even landing in Imhambane “International” in Mozambique was a comparative breeze to get through…trust me its bad…

The World Cup is coming and I know we are up to the job but someone at ORT central needs to take responsibility for appalling service and people who obviously have no clue what’s going on or how to solve a problem.

Blank stares don’t solve problems – they only confirm lack of ability.