How marriage snuck on me like Rambo...and I like it!

The next big thing…

There are certain stages in life that you know are coming. You know for example that one day you will “get old” and that cash you have been saving each month for your retirement will eventually be seen again (you may also already know what your broker already does. That it probably won’t be enough…but by that time what will he care).

You know too, that one day you will hopefully have kids, the house with the proverbial picket fence (accentuated with various forms of “Mr.Spike”, broken glass bottles in cement and barbed wire). You know that one day you will have to get rid of the sporty 2-door and have to buy a family-mobile…that one day you will be buying school uniforms and telling your kids that if they leave there lunch box at school again they will be hell to pay! Lunch boxes after all don’t grow on trees…along with money, school ties and Pamela Anderson.

So if we know all these things why the hell are we so suprised when it happens to us?

Case in point. I never thought I would get married until I was at least 36 (no idea why that age its just a goal I had set).

I had more wild oats to sow than Brad Pitt in his pre-Jenny / Angie days and Pro-Nutro combined. There was no need to clutter the shag pad, full of manly guitars, men-toys and “casting couch” with such additions as permanent girlfriends or god-forbid a wife!

My mind and life wasn’t built that way.

Until of course I met my wife.

Like a week-kneed teenager on his first date to movies with a face full of acne and saved-up pocket money; I went head over heels for this women and in a flash my life had changed.

It was as unexpected as a Telkom rate cut. She blew me away in 5 seconds – I didn’t stand a chance. I tried to fight it. I tried increasing my partying ways from 4 to 7 days a week…I bought more manly-toys and stopped shaving. All in the hope that if I amped up my bachelor lifestyle, the inconvenient truth that I had fallen in LOVE would quickly disappear faster than the “Tom Cruise is gay” rumors.

Alas, just as the Tommy boy-on-boy action stories persisted, so did my romantic notions of “taking myself a bride”.

I say alas, but obviously it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. It took an outsider like her to tell me that it does not matter how many electric guitars you have in your pad – if you cant play them, they are not cool. You may have a brass telescope in your trendy town loft because its very “New York”, but it still looks like you are checking out your neighbors when they’re showering (to be honest she had me on this one…I was 18 stories up…who wouldn’t give it a go…)




Fastforwarding somewhat; a bit of wrangling here, a ring or too and some invites sent out to relations who would mind a free meal and we were married. Domestic bliss had arrived and without knowing it was happening I was suddenly a husband.

Obviously there was plenty of time to think about all of this, but you don’t do you? You follow the process as it has been laid out for thousands of years and you take the proper steps to ensure that you do what millions have done before you in order to be hitched.

I look at my wife now and it does not register that we are now man and vrou. I still find her hot! Damn hot! We still have sex and damn it if it does not just get better?

What happened to all the stories that once you tie the knot you may as well buy a bunk bed? Where are all the “okes” who told me very specifically and in no uncertain terms that my life would end as I know it? I’ll tell you where – in the same bars that I left them. Still single, still telling the next line of “manne” the do’s and don’ts of how to “score” chicks and how every time they have been with a women its ended badly…in hindsight not suprisingly. How many women want to hang off the end of a bar with their “man” while he chalks up another Black Label on the tab…for 7 consecutive days.

My point is that I enjoy being married. Do we irritate each other? Sure we do. Do we fight, moan and grumble? Of course! I am human and I always will. Only now I get to do that with my wife. A women who I find adorable, funny, cute and insanely sexy.

If ever there is a person who I wanted to make up with after a fight, it would be her hands down. Lets face it – you don’t beg the Taxman for a cuddle after he has taken your hard earned cash and shouted at him for doing it, right?

Marriage my have snuck up on me. It may have been mores stealthy than John Rambo on a jungle mission. More frightening than Chuck Norris in a tutu but man am I glad it got me.

I look forward to my adventures in marriage – obviously those that have been hurt will tell me not to be so gung-ho, it’s not an easy trip. However I welcome the challenge with open arms…and my electric guitar slung over my back (I still cant play it but I don’t need to now…I’m married…and that’s the cooler).